INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY – 2010

All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA)

International Men’s Day (IMD) is celebrated on 19th November the world over.

This year, on the occasion of IMD, AIMWA is felicitating three positive male role models namely, Dr. Viswanath Gogte, Sri. A.V. Gurunadh and Sri. Gangadhara Sastry for their extraordinary contributions to academic, civic and spiritual education, respectively. (Click here for invitation!)

Why celebrate Men’s Day?

In the recent years, it has become common practice to neglect, ill-treat and demean men in the society. Male bashing (both physical and verbal) and portrayal of men as villains, idiots and inferior creatures is seen as an innocuous way of increasing profits of media houses and other businesses. Discrimination of men under law and violation of their human rights have become synonymous with empowering and protecting women.

Undermining the positive contributions of majority of men and exaggerating the misdeeds of a few has serious impact on the psyche of men and the self-image of young men and boys. Discrimination against men in areas of social services, social attitudes, social expectations and law is very demoralizing to the common men who lead decent, honest lives.

International men’s day is about celebrating and honoring men in our lives for all the contributions, services and sacrifices they make for the well-being of the family and society. It is an opportunity to revive respect towards men and improve gender relations. It is an occasion to promote positive male role models, to reinforce the self-esteem and pride of young men and boys about being male. It is a day to remind everyone of the fact that men are human too and that they desire and deserve love, care and respect just as much as women do.

In an attempt to shed light on the various issues affecting men, All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA) is organizing a conference where experts in various fields will share their observations and recommendations. (See invitation for details!)

* Physical Health of men – Dr. Sudhir, BHMS, Kakinada

The National Family Health Survey does not consider men’s health important – enormous focus on women and children, and the mention of men only in relation to how they should contribute to the health and welfare of women and children, clearly indicates the apathy of the Government towards men’s health. No funds are allocated to conduct research on or develop remedies for diseases specific to men such as prostate or testicular cancers. Since men define their lives largely by their professions and protecting and providing for their families, they tend to ignore illnesses, lead less healthy lifestyles than women, miss getting medical attention in time, and as other stresses in life increase, the diseases catch up with them. Men are more likely to die from heart disease, prostate cancer, stroke, infectious diseases, accidents and suicide. Males have a higher overall mortality rate than females at all ages (roughly 1.6 times greater). It is necessary to understand the genetic, environmental or age related illnesses which can affect men, and provide them with insurance to get the right kind of medical attention at the appropriate time.

Men as protectors – Sri. A.B. Pratap Reddy, A.P. Police Department, Hyderabad

Men as individuals and as a group are expected to protect not just their own respective families, but also, all women and children in the society. Right from the age of 7, a boy is trained to be an “unpaid bodyguard” to girls and women. Accordingly, anytime a girl or woman is in distress, one always sees men rushing to her rescue. The fire department, police, armed forces and all other security forces are filled with men. Even in forces where women are recruited, combat and other risky operations are considered the exclusive job of men. The country pays tributes once a year to all the fallen heroes who sacrificed their lives for the country. We also need to remember that the so-called protector too needs certain kinds of protection and support in order to perform his job efficiently on a daily basis. Government should pay close attention to improving working conditions, salaries, housing and professional development opportunities for men in uniform.

Men as providers – Sri. Manoj David, President, National Litigant Bench, Chennai

Men and boys are always expected to be and conditioned to become protectors and providers. Even though more women are entering the job market and defying their traditional roles within the family and the society, resulting in reduced employment opportunities for men, the society refuses to free men of their traditional duties of protecting and providing for women, children and the aged. Men who cannot provide for the family are considered incapable, unmanly and unfit for marriage and having children. So, men often undertake some of the most risky and challenging jobs in the society and put their lives at stake just to be a provider. Financial hardships drive thousands of farmers, artisans and providers of crucial services to commit suicide. Treating men as ATMs and expendable commodities is nothing but abuse of their human rights, which must be opposed by individuals, society and Government.

Emotional Health of men – Dr. Praveen Chinta, MBBS, DPM, MRCP, Hyderabad

Boys are discouraged from expressing their pain and feelings from the age of 7-8 yrs. This leads to fear of self-expression and even numbness to abuse for the rest of their lives. Men find emotional confrontations extremely painful when they grow up as they are no longer good at articulating their emotions. A lot of men take refuge in addictions like smoking or drinking to combat stress. Most men enduring emotional turmoil in marriage contemplate suicide and a substantial percentage of them (around 56,000 a year) actually commit suicide. Twice as many married men, compared to married women, commit suicide every year. Scientific research is necessary to understand the emotional health issues of men, especially the Indian male. There is a need for psychiatrists and psychologists to specifically focus on issues pertaining to men.

Men in old age – Smt. Kamakshi, Secy. Senior Citizens Forum, Hyderabad

While men in the “productive” age bracket are subject to the pressures of professional competition, family issues and financial problems, one expects that they would be relatively stress-free during their post-retirement years. However, due to the breakdown of the joint family system, and the advent of nuclear family and individualistic culture, more and more aged men are suffering from anxiety, loneliness, financial hardships and despair. Many aged men also suffer neglect and abuse in their homes, but they appear to be better adjusted than women in similar situations, because men in general are not expressive about their emotions. Overemphasis on professional and family responsibilities at the expense of their own health, and the ensuing stress could be the reasons why life expectancy of men is much lesser than that of women. As the physical and emotional health of aged men depends, to a large extent, on their lifestyles during their younger years, men need to maintain a healthy lifestyle so that they are more resilient and capable of coping with the challenges posed by age and age-related diseases and disabilities.

Men and anti-male laws – Smt. Rama Subhadra, Mahila Satta Legal Cell, Hyderabad

Many laws have been made in the last 60 years in the name of protecting women within and outside the home. These so-called pro-women laws such as IPC Section 498A, Domestic Violence Act, adultery laws, laws against rape and sexual harassment and family laws (divorce, maintenance and child custody) aggravate problems rather than mitigate them. These discriminatory laws are anti-male and anti-family, and serve as weapons that promote family destruction and large scale human rights abuses against men, women and children. They are tools of blackmail and extortion in the hands of unscrupulous women, law enforcement personnel, lawyers and judiciary. There is an urgent need to eliminate discrimination against men under law, make all civil and criminal laws equally applicable to men and women, and also to ensure that strict penalties are imposed on those who misuse the laws.

Respecting male sexuality – Smt. Uma Challa, President, All India Men’s Welfare Association, Hyderabad

Sexual arousal is easily discernible in men, whereas it is not obvious in women. As a result, men constantly face the allegation of being obsessed with sex. It is also believed that men always indulge in sex voluntarily, whereas women are thought to take part in sex either to fulfill the sexual or emotional needs of men or because they are forced to do so by men against their will. Male sexuality is often attacked to break a man down emotionally. Sexual exploitation and rape of men/boys by women is not acknowledged as an offense, and in fact it is considered as a non-existent problem. Today, male sexuality is ridiculed, insulted, misunderstood, undermined, disregarded, criminalized and everything but respected. Proper awareness on male sexuality is very important for both men and women. Provisions and laws for protection against sexual assault and abuse are as necessary for men as they are for women.

Men from across the city began calling the All-India Men’s Welfare Association for help immediately after its launch on Thursday! Although the association does not have an office yet, the founder-members have opened a helpline. Besides, they organize meetings every Sunday at the Press Club.

Men can discuss their problems with counsellors Vivek Deveshwar and Mithun Kumar. The committee has five active members, apart from Vivek and Mithun, all of whom are software professionals. Vivek said: “Our approach includes counselling, and at the same time not letting men think of themselves as victims and getting into the self-pity mode.” In cases of matrimonial or other family disputes, they offer legal assistance.

A 61-year-old man called the helpline on Thursday saying he has filed a suit for getting maintenance from his son. Another call was from a divorced man who has been rejected visitation rights. He has a 1-year-old son.

Men who have already faced such problems joined the association, and many have volunteered to help. An advocate who has faced and dealt with harassment through matrimonial cases has eagerly supported the cause, offering legal assistance.

The association intends to open two more helplines for those who speak Kannada.

The All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA) it appears, has a series of grouses to be addressed by society at large: that men have always been portrayed as the tough sex, and so boys are trained to hide their emotions; men are treated as ATMs and ‘sperm donors’ and are thus exploited, the world persistently asks women what their problems are, but doesn’t bother about men…

Ever since Independence, women have been mollycoddled by ministries and commissions, but none have been instituted for poor Adam. Statistics have it that a man commits suicide every nine minutes, double the ratio of women ending their lives, worldwide – which shows that they have reached the end of their tether. It is these issues that AIMWA will address, say men’s activists.

Demand father’s rights

It also has more serious issues on hand: the taxation disparity and unfavourable custodian rights of fathers. Vivek Deveshwar, counsellor and founder-member of AIWMA, said: “Most fathers are deprived of custody of their children and only mothers get the right. Even after that, mothers feel insecure and snatch visitation rights from men. Where is the justice? There is not even a quasi-constitutional body to hear our problems and protect us.”

The association, questioning the regulations of the National Commission for Women, alleged that it is essentially against men. They want the Centre to form a National Commission for Men and abolish the NCW. They also demand a ministry for men’s welfare, which will implement the commission’s recommendations on behalf of the government.

Demands include rationalisation of taxes and permission for single adult men to adopt children before the age of 30.

Prostrate cancer, which affects men, is a serious issue never attended to by the health ministry. “While there is so much being done for breast cancer in women, prostrate cancer has never been addressed,” added Vivek.

International Men’s Day has been chosen for the launch of the association at Bangalore, with centres at Delhi and Mumbai opening shorty. Centres have helplines to address problems of men in their respective states. They will urge the Centre to consider their demands.

Helplines available: 9880763790, 9886368480

website: www.aimwa.info

“We want to say that men do cry and they too suffer,” added Jahgirdar.

AIMWA is an initiative of Bangalore based NGO Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), working for protection of the Indian family system and values.

Main grouses of men’s rights activists are lack of legal protection for men and non-existence of any commissions for men or ministry dedicated for males’ rights, akin to women.

“If we look back, in the last 62 years of Indian Independence not a single rupee has ever been allocated for men’s welfare from the union budget. Not a single constitutional or quasi-constitutional body has ever been formed to study men’s issues, not a single study ever conducted to study men’s issues, and not a single scheme ever been envisaged for men’s welfare,” said Virag Dhulia, a senior member of AIMWA.

“Hence, in the backdrop of this emptiness, the government and the society have absolutely no locus-standi to deny accepting men’s issues or avoid addressing them. And it is this emptiness which has led to the formation of AIMWA, to study men’s issues and demand for a national commission for men and men’s welfare ministry,” added Dhulia.

International Men’s Day is an international event celebrated Nov 19, every year. It was started in 1999 in Trinidad and Tobago and supported by the United Nations.

The objectives of celebrating an International Men’s Day include focusing on the health of men and boys, improving gender relations, promoting gender equality, and highlighting positive male role models.

It is an occasion for men to highlight discrimination against them and to celebrate their achievements and contributions, in particular their contributions to community, family, marriage, and child care.

Members of AIMWA also stressed that expectations from men have skyrocketed and that is causing a lot of harm to the entire Indian family system.

“Today men are expected to take care of extended families of parents, siblings, wife, in-laws and provide for them, undertake the primary financial responsibility of the house even if the wife is well-qualified, well-earning and capable of sharing the financial load. Moreover, lots of men have of late become victims of misuse of Section 498A and Domestic Violence Act,” said Dhulia.

“However, men have no forum to address these issues. As a result, men find emotional confrontations extremely painful and most men contemplate suicide during emotional turmoil in their relationship and a reasonable percentage of them actually commit suicide,” added Dhulia.

According to statistics available with National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), 52,583 married men committed suicide compared to 28,188 married women in 2005, 55,452 married men committed suicide compared to 29,869 married women in 2006, and 57,593 married men committed suicide vis-à-vis 30,064 married women in 2007.

“Statistics say that married men are a harassed lot and are forced to commit suicide more than married women. But, still nobody talks about men’s rights and we want a change in the attitude,” said Dipankar Dutta, a Bangalore based bank executive.

“Hope sooner or later government and the society realizes the problems of men and bring justice to them,” added Jahgirdar.

The “dominant sex”— male — is not so dominant after all. Forming solidarity on the eve of International Men’s Day (IMD) on Thursday, pro-men activists in Bangalore are set to launch an All India Men’s Welfare Association and demand creation of a Men’s Welfare Ministry, among other things.

The Association has drafted a charter that asks for a holiday on IMD, paternity leave, and a study on the treatment men get in different spheres of socio-economic life. The Association has asked all male employees in Bangalore to take mass leave on Thursday and “declare their independence and celebrate their freedom”.

“Man is depicted as a fiend who is out to exploit women. It’s reflected in the societal attitude, right from the mother’s lap and lasts till the grave,” bemoans Virag Dhulia, a researcher for the Save Indian Family Foundation that was formed a few years ago to provide legal succour to men fighting marital cases.

Virag is rich in details and ladles out examples where men are silent sufferers: “First, discrimination comes in the form of false image of dominance: man should not cry, he should shoulder responsibility for the welfare of women, he must do all risky tasks. Giving them false values are the scriptures that put man at a psychological disadvantage. In society, right from the elementary schools to the judiciary, he is suspect till he proves himself otherwise.”

“The government even has an Animal Welfare Board but the sex that gives 82 per cent tax revenue and does all the unpleasant and hazardous jobs, the fruit of which is mainly enjoyed by women, have no place in India’s scheme of things,” regrets the new body’s website aimwa.info launched on Monday. “Men,” it exhorts, “let’s unite and fight societal attitude, not women.”

“No, we are not against women. We’re for gender parity,” clarifies Vivek Deveshwar, another activist in the forefront. “Men face humiliation in every step. For instance, government gives great importance to breast cancer and blood cancer in women, but hardly anything on prostrate cancer, a disease men are prone to. In advertisements and cartoons, a male is portrayed as stupid, while women are witty and smart.”

Mithun Kumar, one of the leaders, told DNA, “In every step, a man suffers ignominy. To take the latest example, look at how the media treated the case of a woman who barged into the marriage hall. The man had no voice, nobody believed him or asked for his view.” Kumar says even the World Economic Forum keeps harping on the dwindling population of girls without any valid study.

“It’s unfortunately true that men are becoming victims of ‘legal terrorism’ unleashed through laws like Indian Penal Code Section 498A, Protection of Women Against Domestic Violence Act, adultery laws and many other laws, all loaded against men,” says veteran lawyer of many fights, MG Kumar. p_surendran@dnaindia.net

About AIMWA:

All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA) was launched in Hyderabad on the 11^th October 2009 to work in the area of elimination of all kinds of discrimination against boys and men. Today, this press conference is being conducted to launch the Bangalore Chapter of the same.

Why Men’s Welfare:

Ask someone about the problems of women and a list would emerge that would never seem to end. Ask about men’s problems and all one sees is blank faces. Does that mean that men do not have any problems? Or is it that there is no awareness for the same, as mirrored in the statement – “Absence of evidence is not an evidence of absence.”?

Hence, in the backdrop of this emptiness, the Government and the society have absolutely no Locus-Standi to deny accepting men’s issues or avoid addressing them. And it is this emptiness which has led to the formation of AIMWA, to study men’s issues and demand for a National Commission for Men and Men’s Welfare Ministry.

Men and their identity:

Today, expectations from men have skyrocketed and acceptance levels for them have nosedived. In fact, there is no limitation to expectations from men and no acceptance of their limitations.

Today men are expected to,

And not only for the above, men have been expected to undertake the most risky and laborious jobs since time immemorial and also have been expected to be the de-facto PROTECTOR as well. It is not unusual to expect a 10 years old male child to escort and protect 30 years old able-bodied female aunty and it is also not unusual to expect a young boy to take charge when some monkey enters a household in rural areas.

However, at the same time, the de-facto protector is left unprotected with no protection available to him. Additionally, men are emotionally castrated right from the age of 6 as they are discouraged from expressing their pains and feelings. Dialogues like, “Do not cry like a girl”, “Be a man” are quite normal for the society to a 6 year old boy whose psyche and identity is just evolving. And the impact of these statements is so deep that the boy develops a fear of self-expression and remains numb to abuse the rest of his life.

As a result, men are finding emotional confrontations extremely painful when they grow up and most men contemplate suicidal tendencies during emotional turmoil in their relationship and a reasonable percentage of them actually commit suicide. The same is corroborated by suicide statistics,

Other than these, men face domestic violence from their wives and in-laws in the form of physical, emotional, mental, verbal and economic abuse. Added to this neither the society (including psychologists and marriage counselors) provides these men with any communication channel nor does the Government offer any legal relief.

Some other forms of harassment and discrimination faced by men,

National Commission for Women – The Enemy in the veil:

It is very clear that under the barb and paradoxical veil of “Women Empowerment”, the NCW is perpetrating male-hatred and is working like a “National Commission against Men” instead of “National Commission for Women”.

On the occasion of 19^th November the INTERNATIONAL MEN’s DAY AIMWA places the following of its demands from the Government and the society:

AIMWA aims to work for men’s welfare and urge the Government and the society to take serious note of the problems of men.

All India Men’s Welfare Association, Bangalore

The month may have been earmarked to coax women to step out of their homes to file cases against cruel husbands, but in Hyderabad men were seen asking “aggrieved” husbands to report the ill-treatment meted out to them by their wives.

Having found a confidant in each other, these men, claiming to be victims of false dowry harassment cases and domestic abuse, toured the city roads distributing pamphlets about the absence of a law to protect them against such ill-treatment and the need for more ‘male-oriented’ policies. They held campaigns and seminars where they accused the society of being biased towards women and prejudiced against men, and went from one locality to the other asking other traumatised husbands to come forward and report such incidents.

The ‘tortured spouses’ also launched an All-India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA) to take their battle to a higher level and call for a separate ministry for safeguarding the interests of men like them. “India even has a separate ministry for animals. Why should the men be left out then?” said S Venugopal, convener of Save India Family Foundation (SIFF), Andhra Pradesh chapter, the body that facilitated the launch of AIMWA. Venugopal, who joined this group around six months ago says that the awareness about these social groups is increasingly growing among men in the state who, unlike in the past, are now willing to come out and share their experiences with the world. “When I joined SIFF there were indeed a few others like me. But today the numbers have doubled,” he said.

Parthasarathy T R, one of the founders of AIMWA agrees with this as he goes on to point out how the three helplines, that are available for such male victims, have not stopped ringing ever since they held these rallies. “Each of these numbers receive close to 30-40 calls a day as against 10-15 previously, from distressed husbands,” he said. These organisations are also conducting an increased number of counselling sessions for such men now, who they say, tend to develop suicidal tendencies if not attended to. “The pain and agony that men go through, when subjected to domestic violence is much like what women face, when ill-treated. But everybody sympathises with the women, the men find no listeners,” said Mohammed Jaleel a member of AIMWA adding, “Whenever I tried to tell people how I was wrongly framed, they either thought I was mad or was trying to cover my misdeeds of harassing my wife by saying all that. Nobody believed anything that I said until I joined this forum.”

Curiously, much like in the case of women, the stories of harassment of these husbands are also related to their in-laws. While some complain of their in-laws forcing them to become ‘ghar jamais’, others allege that their influential in-laws have got them beaten up by the police without even filing a case. Home truths of another kind.

Venue: Public Gardens, Opposite Jubilee Hall

Date and Time: 11 October, 11:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. India is observing this occasion for the first time this year, and four organizations in Hyderabad – Save Indian Family Foundation, All India Forgotten Women, Rishtey and Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting – launched a month-long campaign on 2 October, the International Day of Non-Violence.

The campaign aims at educating the Indian public about how the problem of domestic violence has, for decades, been misrepresented, how domestic violence has been commercialized, and how Indian laws claiming to prevent domestic violence are actually promoting domestic violence and human rights abuses against men, women and children. We will also urge lawmakers and the Government to make appropriate reforms in laws and policies and push for gender neutral provisions to end domestic violence against men, women and children.

As part of this campaign, we are launching an “All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA)”, a National level organization based in Hyderabad, on 11 October 2009.

Why do we need an “All India Men’s Welfare Association”?

Welfare of boys and men has been seriously neglected in India over the last two decades. While proudly championing the cause of women’s rights and women’s empowerment, the government and society tacitly approved the propagation of anti-male sentiments, condoned the resultant diminution in value of men’s lives and supported blatant violation of men’s rights through discriminatory laws and policies. The growing apathy of the government and society towards the sufferings of men has necessitated the formation of an All India Men’s Welfare Association.

It has to be noted that while men still perform some of the most risky and challenging jobs in the society, and while the Government of India collects 82% of its tax revenue from men, not a single rupee has been allocated in the name of men’s welfare in the country’s budget in the last 60 years.

The National Family Health Survey, conducted by the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare, does not consider men’s health and welfare important. Enormous focus on women and children, and the mention of men only in relation to how they should contribute to the health and welfare of women and children, clearly indicates the apathy of the Government towards men.

The homepage of the Animal Welfare Board of India (AWBI) cites Vardhamana Mahavira, the sage of total non-violence, who said, “All beings are fond of themselves, they like pleasure, they hate pain, they shun destruction, they like life and want to live long. To all, life is dear; hence their life should be protected.” While Mahavira’s teachings seem to have inspired the Indian Government to assign a separate ministry to look after issues of Animal Welfare through AWBI, the same Government did not see any necessity to establish a Ministry for Men’s Welfare.

Several laws have been passed in the last 60 years in the name of protection of women and their empowerment. However, there are no laws to protect boys and men from any form of abuse or harassment within and outside the home. Men are being subjected to severe discrimination under law, and their basic human rights are being violated every day in the name of more and more legal provisions that claim to empower and protect women.

Thousands of men are becoming victims of “legal terrorism” unleashed through laws like Indian Penal Code Section 498A, Protection of Women Against Domestic Violence Act, adultery laws, laws against rape and sexual harassment, and even divorce, maintenance and child custody laws.

While society is applauding more and more women getting educated, entering the job market and challenging their traditional roles within the family and society, men are still being shackled to their traditional duties of protecting and providing for women, children and the aged.

The growing disregard and hatred against men in our society is forcing more than 56,000 Indian men to end their lives every year. According to statistics obtained from the National Crime Records Bureau, every year, twice as many married men, compared to women, commit suicides unable to withstand verbal, emotional, economic and physical abuse and legal harassment. Deaths of these men make for the brief stories we often read in newspapers stating that a certain man “killed himself due to family issues or financial problems”. While every death of a young married woman is converted into a case of dowry death leading to immediate arrest of the husband and in-laws, accompanied by media-hype, male-bashing and breast-beating, large-scale suicides of men do not cause any outrage in the society.

Domestic and social harmony will prevail only when women AND men are ensured their rightful, honorable place within and outside the home. In addition, when we ensure true gender equality under law, litigations will be reduced, legal terrorism and extortion through misuse of the law will be eliminated, and our human and financial resources can be employed for betterment of the society and the country.

The aim of AIMWA is to work towards providing protection for men and boys against gender discrimination, domestic violence, sexual harassment and other forms of abuse. The organization will also focus on related issues like physical and mental health of men, and the need for social changes, policy reforms and legal solutions to men’s problems.