Express News Service. 19 Apr 2010

CHENNAI: This is a stag party with a difference. Men, who accuse their girl friends, wives and fiancees of duping them or foisting cases against them, have come together in Tamil Nadu to put up a collective fight.

According to the general secretary of Association for Protection of Men, Madhu Sudhanan, more than 1000 members are aged below 25 years and 4000 members are below 40.

At a meeting on Sunday, attended by over 50 men, there was a talk about rights and laws favouring women. But the association is not to protect men from the the misuse of the Domestic Violence Act and Dowry Harassment Act alone but also youngsters falsely accused of eve teasing.

As one man said: “I was dragged by the police and beaten up in the station. If a girl has a personal enmity, she takes it out by falsely accusing men of eve-teasing. And there is no verification done by the police when it comes to women, they just accept what she says as the sacred truth.” Another member of the association said that he was right now on the streets after he registered his family property in the name of his lover, who conveniently duped him after that.

Madhu Sudanan said that many young men were being cheated by girl friends – they emotionally ditch the man, by marrying men of their parents’ choice. But such cheating was never taken as a crime, he said. Most of the association members had been harassed by women – wives, girlfriends, fiancées – or duped.

But the system is biased towards women, Madhu Sudanan said, and added there are 84 laws for the protection of women’s rights, but none for men.

“Gone are the days when women were exploited. Now, many women misuse the laws meant for their protection. Many young men have been trapped by the laws.

Many youth ditched by girl friends are unnecessarily harassed by police following false complaints, another association member in his mid-30s, said.

Topics: Association for Protection of Men

Comments:

Replace the word in Domestic violence act the men/women to person and husband/wife to spouse, let the punishment equal for all who do the domestic violence, will women organisations will agree, if they think they do not do the domestic violence against men?

By Swarup
4/19/2010 9:45:00 AM

… that’s what men’s organisations in the city are now looking to conduct

~ MANIGANDAN K R. Times News Network

Seeking to counter certain “exaggerated” claims made by some women’s organisations and in a bid to draw the attention of the government to the plight of men victimised by lop-sided laws drafted on the basis of such claims, men’s organisations in the city have now embarked upon the task of conducting a massive domestic violence survey.

The results of the nationwide survey, widely believed to be the first of its kind for men in the country, will be used to find out if whether Indian men too are victims of domestic violence, the percentage of Indian men subjected to such violence and the kind of violence they are subjected to.

The need for the survey has been triggered, it seems, by the controversial Domestic Violence Act – 2005, which seems to have been drafted on the assumption that only women suffer domestic violence.

Says Suresh Ram, member of the All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA), an NGO working for the rights of men and boys, “Certain women’s organisations have been stereotyping the issue of domestic violence. They have presented a picture that conveys the impression that only women are victims of domestic violence while we have with us global surveys and over 250 scholarly studies that show that women are at least as likely as men to engage in partner aggression and that partner violence is often mutual. This fact is established if one goes through the Domestic Violence Study conducted by a well-known global organisation that has done the survey in over 32 countries including India. However, the Domestic Violence Act in India offers protection to only women and not men.”

He further adds, “So, to set things right, we men’s organisations have joined hands to ensure that a credible and transparent survey on the issue is done. Eight men’s organisations are involved in this effort which is being led by the AIMWA. We have begun negotiations with survey agencies to conduct the survey in certain cities of the country including Chennai, Delhi, Kolkata, Bangalore and Hyderabad. We intend to publish the results on Nov 19, the International Men’s Day.”

So, what do they intend to achieve by conducting such a survey? Says Suresh, “We intend to create an awareness in society about the problems faced by men. We wish to present to them the real situation in society. We will also seek to draw the government’s attention to issues concerning men and reiterate our demand for setting up a National Commission for Men and a Men’s Welfare Ministry.”

Men in the city are delighted with the move by the men’s organisations. Welcoming such a survey, Shankar, a graphics designer, says, “I certainly welcome the move. It is high time that facts were presented on this issue.”

Women too seem to be for such a survey. Says Dakshayini Sampath, a media professional, “While I think that more number of women suffer domestic violence, it’s also possible that men are victims. I think the law should hold good for both genders and if this survey is going to help bring about a uniform law, then I’m all for it.”

News courtesy: Chennai Times.

In todays’ issue, the paper gives a prominent headline to the suicide by a woman whereas a similar death of a man is just mentioned “in passing”.

In The Hindu’s perspective, the life of a man is inferior and hence it just does not matter!

The contrast is too conspicuous to be missed!

It is customary in India for estranged wives to demand huge alimony and maintenance from husbands and the courts are generally sympathetic and favourable to wives in these matters, as in child custody disputes.

But Mr. Kalaichelvan underwent extreme amount of torture in the hands of his former wife which had rendered him a “pauper”.

A correction in the newspaper report: Mr. Kalaichelvan was in jail for 24 days and not as reported.

Read on:

Deccan Chronicle reports:-

In an unusual case, a 43-year-old civil engineer has approached the family courts here seeking alimony Rs 25 lakh from his ex-wife, an assistant professor at a reputed university, whom he had divorced a year ago.

In his petition, Mr Kalaiselvan, claimed that he had lost his lucrative job in Kuwait and all his savings because of the legal battle over divorce and custody of their child.

“My ex-wife Malarvizhi was unemployed when I married her in 1997 while I had a decent job abroad,” he said. “My life was ruined after the marriage turned sour and today I am literally in the streets but Malar is well settled. The court has accepted my case and the first hearing will be held on December 15.”

Although the couple separated within a year after the marriage, Malarvizhi and Kalaiselvam applied for a divorce only in 2002.

“Between 2002 and 2006, I had to come to India on at least 20 occasions to fight the case,” said Mr Kalaiselvan. “During this period, I lost my job.”

Mr Kalaiselvan said that his wife and in-laws had also filed a case against him under the Dowry Harassment Act and that he spent three months in jail. “My divorce came through last year and I even got custody of the child,” he said. “But in the process I became a pauper.”

Pamphlets were distributed at various centres in the city including the gates of many colleges like Anna University. The rally of members converged before the Memorial Hall in Park Town and a dharna was conducted when slogans were were shouted to educate the public of the plight of men in India.

The vent was well covered by the media. The following is the extract from a news item that appeared in New Indian Express on 20-11-2009:

Repeal DV Act, say harassed husbands

CHENNAI: Harassed by women, a group of husbands and other men, members of the Association for protection of Men Tamilnadu (AFPM) demanded that the Domestic Violence Act be repealed by staging a protest on the day of World Men’s Day, here on Thursday.

The men claimed that out of total number of cases filed under the DV Act against men, 80 percent of men face false cases. “It is only because of the misguidance of many women SHGs that even small issues at home are exaggerated and are taken to the police station,” said Arulthumilan, association president.

The group’s main worry was that 44 laws protected women and lamented that no law has been constituted to protect men.

Mani Saravanan, an NRI from the US, who married a woman from Chengalpet in 1992 was leading a happy life, when in 2006, his wife suddenly left demanding that all properties be registered in her name. Mani’s wife later filed a case under the Domestic Violence Act, filed for divorce and demanded a compensation of Rs 50 lakhs. “I have two grown up daughters. I came to India with a dream of leading a happy life only because marriage was valued more much here than in the US. But, now it’s all shattered,” Mani who is a yoga teacher said.

Arul David from Tiruchy was one among such who lost his job abroad because is wife complained to the police. “My wife left me, when I was called for an interview abroad. We have never had any big fights except those small problems which every couple face. Still she refused to live with me despite counselling from the police. Now, I am jobless and my wife is demanding Rs 7 lakhs as compensation,” Arul David, who was in the city for the protest, said.

While most men booked under the DV Act have been acquitted, they had all faced some kind of harassment from women police.

Patrick M Francis, a bank employee, claims that he and his parents faced harassment from women police.

This event has also been covered by Deccan Chronicle:

Males moan their fate on Men’s Day

Nov. 19: “Protect us from women,” was the rallying cry of hundreds of men who joined hands on Thursday to mark World Men’s Day, and voiced their protest against ‘biased’ laws which favoured the fairer sex.

They demanded that the government set up a national men’s commission to protect them from anti-dowry law and ‘false’ complaints. From IIT graduates and IT professionals to lawyers and businessmen, men from all walks of life were present in the group that assembled in front of Memorial Hall near the Chennai Central railway station on Thursday morning. Most of them claimed to have been harassed by women, particularly by wives.

“All laws are concerned about women and nobody is bothered about the pains of men,” said Mr M. Francis, divorced software professional and a member of the All India Men’s Welfare Association. “Our main aim is to get a national commission for men,” said lawyer, Mr D. Arulthumilan, president of the Association for Protection of Men in Tamil Nadu.

The participants at the demonstration also opposed the idea of all women police stations. Dr Sahaya Grinspan, a mechanical engineer from IIT, Madras, said that women often misused laws to extort money from their husbands. Most of the participants sought gender neutral laws.